Category Archives: Mommy Monday

Adding to the Nest…

Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

I’m not sure if this crazy weather has my immune system all confused or if it’s because my rapidly aging body is just worn out and is no match for this new generation of ninja germs, but I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately… again!

For the past 3 days, I’ve been living off a diet of pain relievers, fever reducers, mucus busters and cough suppressants. I’m FINALLY starting to feel some improvement in the symptoms, but it needs to go away… faster!

I waited ALL WINTER for the frigid temperatures to break and RUMMAGE SALE SEASON (yay!) to start… so I’m not about to let a few nasty germs keep me home!!! I’ve been taking full advantage of every opportunity to build up my “inventory”… because that’s the ONLY way a “project junkie” can stay busy through the long winter months in MY neck of the woods!!!

This past Saturday was no exception… even though I was feeling like crap, I sucked it up and decided to go see what kind of “treasures” we could find. I remember taking a healthy dose of my “feel better” medications, and then climbed into the truck with two very reluctant pre-teens… and my designated driver, of course!

We passed a few sales and stopped at a few- picking up a couple of little things here and there, but not really find anything that I was looking for… or NEEDED.

The next thing I remember is walking away from a sale and climbing back into the truck with my designated driver, two now NOT-so-reluctant pre-teens, and two things I was not expecting to bring home…





I’m not really sure WHAT I was thinking… but I’m pretty sure this was NOT my fault!

I guess maybe I’m just not ready for an empty nest… at least not yet anyway…



Table Talk

Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

We’ve always had a tradition in our home… we eat dinner together… as a family… at the table. That tradition started when my husband and I got married. In the beginning of our marriage, we both worked the afternoon shift and had the same schedule, so we always made it a point to have family time at the dinner table on our days off.

It was a great way to “catch up” and “keep up” with what was going on in their lives- and in their heads. It was also one of the few opportunities to corral all five kids together in the same room… at the same time… and without any arguments.

We continued this tradition when the twins came to live with us. This was a totally new concept for them, but it quickly became the one time of the day that they actually seemed to look forward to.

Needless to say, we’ve had some pretty interesting conversations with our first generation of kids over the years… like the time when our oldest son (I think he was about 14 at the time) informed us that he wouldn’t need to get a job when he grew up- because he wouldn’t have the need for money. He was going to be self-sufficient, living off the land… in an underground cave that he was going to “build”! Looking back, I kinda wish he would’ve followed through with that plan.

It was also at the dinner table that we were able to find out who was responsible for leading the pack when they all decided to climb out of an upper story bedroom window so they could take turns jumping off the roof!

But, NONE of those conversations could have ever prepared me for the conversations from this next generation!

One evening while my husband was at work, the boys decided to throw this one at me…

Jeff: Grandma?
Me: Yes, Jeff?
Jeff: Do you HAVE to be married to have a baby?
Me: (I was NOT expecting THAT subject to come up!) Ummmm… why would you ask that?
Jeff: Because someone from school said that people can have babies without getting married.
Me: Well… you SHOULD be married before you have a baby. (HOPEFULLY this will pacify him…)
Jeff: Oh… so my mom and dad were married when we were born?
Me: (Uh oh!) Well… ummmm… no. They were living together when you were born, but they weren’t married.
Jeff: That doesn’t make any sense! Then how did my mom have a baby?
Me: (NOW what do I say?!?) Well… sometimes when two people are in love and living together, they have a baby.
Jeff: Oh… (Whew! I THOUGHT it was finally the end of the conversation… but NOPE! Now his BROTHER decides to join in…)
James: Well… I heard that anyone can have a baby just by HUMPING!

REALLY?!? HUMPING?!? He’s TEN!!! Ugh!!!

And then there was the time when my son and his fiancée came to dinner one night…

Jeff: Uncle Jared, do you get to keep your apartment forever or are you just paying rent for it?
Jared: I’m just renting it, why?
Jeff: I was just wondering if you got to keep it… you know… like a condom or something.

I know at least TWO of us nearly choked on our food! But then there was more…

Jeff: Uncle Jared… don’t forget you said that when I turn 21, you’re going to take me somewhere FUN… you know… a B-A-R (because apparently grandma doesn’t know how to spell?!?)!
Jared: I don’t know what you’re talking about (as he shoots me a shifty-eyed glance!)… I never said that (because apparently I’m also BLIND, as well!).
Me: Don’t worry- I won’t be around here when Jeff turns 21…
Jeff: Where WILL you be, grandma?
Me: Somewhere WARM AND SUNNY!!!
Jeff: Oh, I know where that is!
Me: You do, huh? Where do you think it is?
Jeff: HEAVEN!!!

You know, he could be right… at this rate I may die laughing!

Family time… it’s what’s for dinner 😉



Ugh! The Monster is Back!

Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

Well… the pre-pubescent monster is back and has been rearing its ugly head in our household for quite some time now. Apparently it isn’t enough that for the past 7 years we’ve been dealing with a laundry list of “issues” that came packaged with our two walking and talking bundles of joy… so why not throw some wacked out hormones in the mix to make it really interesting?!?

After dinner one night last week, the oldest twin was being his usual “charming” self. It’s a rare occurrence for him to go more than 15 minutes at any given time without an inappropriate or rude comment, a mouthful of sass, name-calling, or bickering spewing out of his mouth.

Right now we’re in the “stupid” phase… everything anyone says or does is STUPID! His doctors, his teachers, his parents/grandparents, his siblings… doesn’t matter. Everything we say, everything we do, every explanation we give… is STUPID! If it wasn’t said or done by one of his “friends”… then it’s stupid!

At 11 years old, he knows it all… and can DO it all better than anyone else. He’s one of those children who make it very difficult to “choose your battles”, because EVERYTHING is a battle. I would gladly trade 1:00 a.m., 3:00 a.m., AND 5:00 a.m. feedings with this stage any day of the week!

Well, last week was no exception. It had already been a long day and I had just had enough, so I threw out one of those totally meaningless “mommy threats”. You know- the “if you don’t quit making those faces, your face is gonna freeze like that”, or the “if you’re not in the car when I’m ready to go, then I’m leaving without you!” kind of threats… except I told him, “you know, they have a special place for kids who act like you do… if you don’t knock it off, I’m gonna make a reservation for you!”

It was actually quiet in our house… for a few seconds… until his twin brother piped up and said…

“Yeah, like BOOTY CAMP!

Well… there went all of MY credibility! Apparently it’s hard for a child to take you seriously when you’re laughing your ass off…



Here’s Your Sign!

Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel like it’s just another routine day, and then… WHAM! …your face suddenly feels flush, you get this funny feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you just want to RUN back to your comfort zone?!? Well that’s what happened to me the other day!

I was sitting in the vet’s office with my cat this weekend when I had a sudden flashback to one of my most embarrassing “Here’s Your Sign” moments…

A couple of weeks after we moved into our new home, my son, Jared, and I were outside cleaning the pool when a young stray cat wandered up to where we were standing. I thought it was a little strange that we had never even seen this cat before, yet it showed no fear or hesitation… it just strutted over to us like it knew who we were… like it had come home.

I still can’t explain why, but for some reason this cat’s personality immediately reminded me of my oldest son, Charlie, who passed away unexpectedly the summer before we moved… needless to say, his passing turned my world upside down and sideways. Charlie had an amazing sense of humor and was very good at pulling pranks… I think I was his favorite “victim”. I’m almost positive he spent the entire year planning April Fool’s Day pranks for me… and I fell for them… every…single…year!

Anyway… after a few days, it was apparent that this stray animal wasn’t going to leave, so naturally Jared tried his hardest to convince me that we NEEDED a cat….

HA! Been there, done that! I can’t even begin to count the number of stray pets that my kids have brought home over the years! I was really thinking about getting another dog after we’d settled in, but I told him I would think about it.

I guess I wasn’t thinking fast enough, so… taking full advantage of the fact that it’s common knowledge I’m out-hormoned by all the testosterone in our home, he used the “But it’s a FEMALE, mom!” angle. Okay… fine… I relented… once again… but only on the condition that the cat wouldn’t be allowed to come in the house until after a visit to the vet.

A few days later I dropped the cat off to be immunized, spayed, and declawed, and then ran a couple errands. And that’s when it happened… the vet called as I was on my way home to tell me that she had just begun the spay procedure and had some interesting information to pass on.

I immediately envisioned that a litter of kittens was in our future… been there, done that, too… ugh! But, NOPE, that wasn’t it…

I don’t think there is anything that could’ve made me feel more stupid than when the vet told me that SHE (the cat… not the vet) was actually a HE… and had already been neutered!

Sheesh! I never thought to “gender-check” the cat myself- I relied totally on Jared’s observation and his knowledge of basic anatomy…

Not only did I hear a little voice in my head that said “Here’s Your Sign”, but I swear I also heard one saying “April Fools, Mom”!

I eventually got over the embarrassment, but I’ll admit… I was a little concerned about Jared dating…



The Countdown Begins!

Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!!!

I can’t believe it’s already here- the day I’ve been dreading for a couple of months now… MONDAY! Not just any Monday… THE Monday. The LAST Monday before school is out for the summer.

For the next 12 (very long) weeks, I will no longer be able to sit down to enjoy an entire cup of coffee, have a telephone conversation, or work on a project without an interruption every 5 minutes. My house, which normally stays clean and somewhat organized for 6-1/2 glorious hours, will be reduced to 15 minutes at any given time. Quick trips to the store will become 3 hour tasks…minimum! The sounds of the clock ticking, the pets snoring, and the radio playing in the background will be replaced by the summer phrases of “I’m bored! What can I do?!?” and “I’m hungry! What can I eat?!?” Honestly, I don’t know why they even bother to ask those questions… because they NEVER like the answers!

Maybe one day, when they’re grown and have kids of their own, they’ll finally understand WHY I always buy myself a huge chocolate cake in August!

Oh well… I’m sure we’ll all survive another summer vacation. After all, it’s only 72 more days until school starts, right?!?