Tag Archives: responsibility

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren…

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Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

Well, here it is… another year… another reflection on the struggles and rewards that grandparents raising grandchildren experience on a daily basis.

When we first announced our intent to adopt and raise our twin grandsons, I was shocked at some of the responses we received.  We were chastised, ostracized, and criticized by the ignorant and selfish few who felt we were making a poor choice.

A few who wouldn’t, or couldn’t, understand that this wasn’t a choice… it was a responsibility!

We didn’t do it for admiration, sympathy, or guilt.  We did it for no other reason than for the LOVE of family… because THAT’S what family does… they take care of their own.

Four years ago tomorrow, we made a life-altering commitment.

We traded a home filled with peace and quiet for a home filled with constant chaos…

We sacrificed our well-earned privilege to enjoy freedom and spontaneity for the struggle of finding a responsible babysitter for an occasional (and rare!) night out…

We delayed the long-awaited reward of being empty-nesters to continue playing the roles of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny, hosting birthday parties and graduation open houses, back-to-school shopping, attending school conferences, homework questions, and sitting patiently in doctors’ offices with two very impatient children…

We became a one income family in exchange for providing some much-needed stability, security, structure, and guidance…

We pushed back the dream of early retirement for book rental, orthodontics, karate lessons, piano lessons, sports equipment, band instruments, and college tuition….

We gave up all the fun of being grandparents who “spoil them and send them home” to hear “You’re mean!“, “Everyone else gets to, why can’t I?!?”, and “That’s not fair!“…

Our entire family dynamic changed when we adopted our then-8-year-old twin grandsons.

Has it been easy??? OF COURSE NOT!

Has it been worth it??? ABSOLUTELY!!!

They’re happy, healthy, thriving, loved, and SAFE!

We still have a long way to go, but it’s amazing to see how far they’ve come.

Thank you, God… for giving them a fighting chance at this thing called life…

Happy BONUS Birthday Jimmy and Jeff… we love you!!!

Enjoy!

Lynn

Back to School!

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Hi everyone!

It’s Mommy Monday!

And, yes…. I’ve been SLACKING!

Well… maybe that’s not entirely true- I’ve actually been pretty busy in this little nest of ours.

But O…M…G….. it’s finally HERE! The MONDAY of the WEEK I’ve been waiting for since June…

it’s BACK TO SCHOOL week!

We’ve literally spent ALL summer preparing…

Mandatory band program- DONE!
Dental checkups- DONE!
Athletic physicals- DONE!
Required immunizations- DONE!
Eye appointments- DONE!
School registration- DONE!
Cool new school clothes and shoes- DONE!
School supplies- DONE!

We are sooooooooooo READY for this!!!

Ok… so maybe it’s just ME that’s ready!

These 12 year olds of mine are more than a little apprehensive about exchanging the comfort zone of their elementary school for the unchartered “shark-infested” waters of middle school.

They’ve heard the horror stories, they’ve created their contingency “plans”, and they’re cautiously optimistic about starting off the new school year on the right foot.

I honestly think I’m more excited than they are! Not just for the obvious reasons… but, because I remember…

I remember being apprehensive about junior high (as they called it in MY day!)… I was scared to death that I wouldn’t make it to class on time, forget my locker combination, and not make any new friends.

And then of course, there was the anxiety of the dreaded open stall showers after gym class, and let’s not forget the rumors of initiation at the hands of the “upper” classmates. Ugh!!!

Yep… I was S C A R E D!

But… after a couple of really looooooooong weeks… it was all good.

Of course there were times I didn’t make it to class on time, and I definitely had to make more than one trip to the office because I had forgotten my locker combination, but I made a lot of friends… and I made a lot of mistakes.

I learned so much more than academics… most of which were NOT easy lessons to learn.

The transition after elementary school was certainly an eye opener!  In fact, some of my favorite childhood memories came from those two short years… I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything!

Like me, I’m sure that there will be many hard lessons for the boys to learn, too… but, they’ll be fine.  After all… that’s all part of growing up, isn’t it?!?

I’m pretty confident that we’ve been nudging (ok… PUSHING) them in the right direction for the past 7 years, and that we’ve given them a solid foundation of values to build on… so I guess we’ll see if they were really listening.

This will be a very busy year for them- they’ll have plenty of opportunities to explore their interests, expand their social skills, and experience their first heartbreak.

They will learn about the consequences that go hand-in-hand with their new-found freedom and independence, discover a broader meaning of responsibility, begin to build true friendships, and learn a few hard lessons of life along the way.

This is also the time when parents are supposed to start “letting go”… just a little bit.  Even though we spend the first 12 years of their lives “grooming” them for this moment, it’s not an easy transition once the parenting role begins to change from damage prevention to damage control.

These two not-so-little-anymore boys of mine have come such a long way since the day I put them on the bus for their very first day of kindergarten… and even though still they drive me absolutely crazy every single day- I know how hard we’ve ALL worked to get them where they are today…

And somehow… that seems to make things just a little bit better.

But… I’m STILL having cake on Thursday 😉

Enjoy!

Lynn